Book Summary: Melissa Auf Der Maur “Even the Good Girls Will Cry”
Reading Melissa Auf der Maur’s memoir, Even the Good Girls Will Cry, was like stepping back into the heart of the ‘90s rock world. Through her reflections, I was drawn into the orbit of Hole’s Live Through This era and the Smashing Pumpkins’ 2000 Machina and farewell tour. Her stories paint a vivid picture of a scene that was chaotic, creative, and authentic.
One of the most striking themes in her book is honesty and purity of heart, which she captures in the line: “Sending these messages back home, or putting them into my diary, feels like a commitment to being honest and pure of heart”. This resonated with my feelings about publishing my own notes on my website —an act of commitment to authenticity.
The memoir also shifted my perspective on Melissa’s career. I initially felt disappointed that Billy Corgan’s interview of Melissa in his podcast cut her story off at the end of the Smashing Pumpkins’ first run, but after reading the book, I understand that her memoir isn’t so much about her entire life or career as it is about living through the ‘90s rock experience.
The book has a touch of gossip too. She shocked me with some details of her personal life, specially her fling with Billy Corgan and her passionate relationship with Dave Grohl.
Melissa’s writing is reflective, artistic, and at times haunting, especially in the Afterword where she laments a world of “Alien machines that rewire brains to create a culture of mimicry that kills individuality and obliterates one-of-a-kind analog creations”.
Reading her book was refreshing —a departure from my usual productivity-focused and Bible reading— because it reawakened themes that haunted me in my teens and early twenties: authenticity, creativity, and the pursuit of a spiritual journey.
This memoir doesn’t just recount events; it invites me to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with my own creative impulses. It leaves me inspired to protect authenticity with the actions I take.
Me and Melissa, Boston 2010.